I Am Thankful

The Bible states that we should give thanks in all things. Sometimes, of course, this is difficult to do. I've noticed lately that I've been complaining a lot about certain situations in my life. As many of you know, I am studying Conscious Discipline (visit the website at www.lovingguidance.com) and one of the foundational principles of CD involves the Power of Perception. In other words, we choose how to view situations, and our viewpoint then influences our emotional response.

Therefore, I decided to readjust my thinking today. So here goes....

• I am thankful that my salary has been cut by the governor, because it means I still have a job when so many people have lost their jobs.

• I am thankful Gryffin threw a major tantrum this morning, because it means he's a healthy toddler when so many children die in infancy.
  

• I am thankful my husband takes up most of the bed, because it means he's still with me when so many people are divorced or widowed.

• I am thankful my students get on my nerves with their constant drama, because it means I have a wonderful opportunity to practice Conscious Discipline and patience.

• I am thankful that when I stood up to teach today my pants fell down, because it means I've lost weight. (I'm also thankful it occurred while the kids were at computer class!!!)

• I am thankful that putting together my grandmother's birthday party is so stressful, because it means she's still alive when others are now gone.

That's enough optimism for now. Back to being grouchy! :)

Great Last Words

As most of you know, my family has experienced a lot of death in just the last two years. My aunt, grandfather, and grandmother all died recently, as well as both of my cats. Naturally, my mind tends to gravitate towards thoughts of dying these days.

Anyhoo, I've decided that Death actually has a lot of potential for humor. For example, visit the Darwin Awards website and read accounts of people who "bought the farm" in an unintentionally hilarious manner. Yes, some of those examples are just plain tragic and sad....and I certainly don't mean to laugh at the family's pain and suffering. But sometimes you just have to laugh or go insane. While I realize my current mental state may be up for debate, I've decided to return to my sarcastic roots and enjoy the sublimely ridiculous.

In that frame of mind, I started thinking about idiotic ways to die (its surprising how many idiotic ways to die first begin with someone stating, "Get me another beer!"). While I suppose one could argue that Death itself is idiotic, nevertheless, some people exit stage left in a funny way. 1 Such thoughts led me to my next idea: wonder what those people said right before they met with fate? Speculation was rampant. Here are just a few:

Great Last Words:

• Hey, guys! Watch this!
• Hold my beer. I'm gonna try something.
• Do you think its loaded?
• These are the edible kind, right?
• This tastes a little funny.
• Nah.....it's not flammable. I'll prove it.
• Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.
• I wonder if we can deep fry that sucker?
• Poke it with that stick again, Bubba.
• I saw this on TV....
• Isn't that just the cutest little Chihuahua?

I'm sure there are many, many more possible quotations. Send 'em my way if you happen across one!

1For example, take the gentleman who recently purchased a new sports car, only to get said car stuck on a railroad track with an oncoming train. The gentleman, thinking quickly (or not), immediately left his vehicle. Unfortunately, he then ran TOWARDS THE TRAIN shouting "Stop! Stop!" One can only surmise that he was concerned about his new car.....luckily the car received relatively minor damage. The gentleman, however, was not so fortunate. (Yes, its a true story. Look it up).