Hide-and-Seek for Dummies

Last night my husband and I decided to play Hide-and-Seek with Gryffin. As is usually the case, Gryffin was very enthusiastic about the game. Problem was, he had no idea how to play it correctly.

The game started with me slowly counting to ten while my husband helped Gryffin to hide. When I reached ten, I loudly sang out "Ready or not, here I come!" I then went in search of my husband and son.

It didn't take me very long to find them. Mainly because Gryffin was frantically waving his arms, jumping up and down, and shouting, "Here I am!"

(Note to self: scratch "Covert Stealth Spy" off Gryffin's future job list.)

After that rather interesting version, we decided to help our son by hiding with him. Justin covered his eyes and slowly started to count, while I grabbed Gryffin's hand and headed for a primo hiding spot.

Gryffin and I ducked behind a bedroom door and waited for Justin to finish counting. The entire time, Gryffin is so excited he simply can't stop giggling or dancing in place. And sure enough, no sooner does Justin announce "Here I come!" than Gryffin launches himself from his hiding place shouting, "Here I am, Dada!"

So we tried version 3. This time I hid, while Justin and Gryffin counted. I ran to the hallway closet and stepped inside, leaving the door hallfway open. I figured it was an easy place for Gryffin to find me, since I would be very visible the minute someone walked past.

They reached ten, warned me they were coming, and then set out to search for me. I could hear Gryffin giggling and laughing while he hunted, and Justin encouraging him to find me. As they drew nearer to the hallway closet, I found myself smiling in anticipation. Surely Gryffin would find me immediately!

Wrong.

For the next five minutes, Gryffin proceeds to run through the house calling, "Mama! Where are ooo?" He must have streaked past the closet door at least four times and never once noticed me!

(Note to self, scratch "Search and Rescue" off Gryffin's future job list).

An Unusual Experience

As many of you know, I love a good ghost story. Whenever I travel, I automatically look for local lore about haunted places and events. Although I am interested in the paranormal,I actually consider myself to be rather skeptical of the various stories I've heard. I know that surprises many folks who are familiar with my penchant for the unexplained, but its true.

Anyway, I have had a few "different" experiences so far in my life. I am not saying these experiences are paranormal in nature; in fact, in the case I'd like to discuss now, I'd love to find a rational explanation. So if you have any ideas, let me know!

It was a LLLLLOOOOONNNNNGGGGG time ago when I was in college (no, I won't tell you just how long ago). I was home for a holiday, and both my parents were at work. In true college student fashion, I chose to sleep in late on the morning in question.

At some point that morning I woke up and went to the restroom. It was probably around 8:30 a.m., and sunlight was streaming through my two windows. My room was well-lit by the sun, and although I was still somewhat sleepy, I was definitely awake. I used the restroom, got a drink of water, and decided, quite lazily, to return to bed. Ahhhh, college days.

Anyway, I laid down and, as I waited for sleep to find me, began to toss and turn in an effort to find a comfortable spot. About five minutes or so after I laid down, I rolled over and found myself facing the bedroom door, and a strange man standing in the hallway.

Now, to fully grasp the scene, let me describe our house to you. It is an older ranch-style house, with my bedroom at the end of the hallway. I never considered this house to be "haunted," despite a couple of random events (I'll share those later).

The man stood just outside my room, in the dark hallway. Even today, many, many, many years later, I can still see him. He was of medium height, broad-chested and stocky. He wore dark pants,a red flannel shirt, and a toboggan-style knit cap. He had a scruffy beard darkening the lower half of his face, and his over-all complexion is best described as "swarthy."

But the most upsetting aspect of my visitor was the expression on his face. It was extremely hostile. He stood in the doorway, head lowered, glowering at me from underneath his heavy eyebrows. He did not move, did not say anything, merely stood there and stared. It was absolutely terrifying, and I was paralyzed

I stared at him for what seemed like forever, before I managed to break eye contact and look away. When I gathered my courage enough to look back, he was gone.

This event scared me so badly that I jumped up and immeditely called my father, who was at work approximately an hour away. While on the phone with him, I searched the entire house, but found nothing.

So what happened? Did I dream the entire event? Was it a case of sleep paralysis, or night terrors? Or did I really have an unknown visitor that morning?

Gryffin Googles

Today I had a meeting with my colleagues. Due to lack of babysitters, Gryffin went with me to the school for my appointment. I gave him various toys and things to distract him, but in true toddler fashion he wanted to be right in the middle of the discussions.

At last, exasperated with his interruptions, I pulled up hulu on the computer and found a cartoon show for him to watch. Then my husband arrived to take the little munchkin off my hands, and I left Gryffin in the classroom with the other teachers while I went to let Justin in.

When we returned to the room, we found Gryffin sitting at the computer with my friend, Julie; Julie was looking rather surprised. After he left, she confided to me that the cartoon had finished on the computer and she went to find him another one. Unable to find the correct url, she apologized to Gryffin and explained the problem.

He had a solution, however. He told her, "Just Google it!"

Conscious Discipline Memories....Wednesday

Whenever I attend a workshop, I take copious notes and then shelve them. When I review those notes (sometimes years later), I have absolutely no idea what I have written, what it means, or what I wanted to remember! So I decided to take some time during the breaks this week to write down the highlights so hopefully I can remember what happened later on!

Things to remember: reflective speaking helps mirror students, engage their interest, and shift focus. "So you wanted...."

What you focus on, you get more of."

"Connections on the outside build connections on the inside."

"The teacher sets the tone of the classroom. If there is someothing amiss with the classroom climate, you as the teacher need to change."


Ideas to implement: "Nancy in the News" possible to make school-wide brain smart start using activboards? Maybe record the day before everyday? Explore possibilities to unite school family.

Doodle's Doodle

Last night, Gryffin sat on my lap and regaled me with various drawings on his MagnaDoodle (a slate-type device that lets you draw and erase with magnetized fillings and a magnetic pencil). First he drew me a duck (which closely resembled a blob). Next he drew me a dinosaur (which closely resembled a larger blob). Then he drew me a tiger (which closely resembled an even larger blob....sensing a pattern?). Finally, he decided to take requests and asked what I would like for him to draw.

"How about drawing me a smiley face?" I asked. As most of you know, I have a serious addiction to smiley faces. Although I am seeking treatment, my addiction remains perilous.

"Okay," he replied. He erased his previous pictures, stuck out his tongue, and carefully placed two dots in the middle of the MagnaDoodle.

"The eyes!" he told me gleefully.

Then he drew a squiggly line underneath them. "The mouth!" He was now wiggling with delight.

"Very good," I agreed. "But where's his nose?"

He concentrated for a second, then added another dot. "His nose!"

"Nice." I complimented. "But where are his ears?"

Gryffin gave me an exasperated look. Then he carefully added to blobs to the side of the 'face.' "Ears," he announced.

I noticed his enthusiasm seemed to be waning.

"I like those ears," I told him. "But where is his hair?"

By now Gryffin was obviously frustrated with my art critique. He shook his head stubbornly and growled, "No hair."

"No hair? Of course he needs hair! Where is his hair?"

Gryffin again shook his head. "No hair, Momma! No hair!"

I studied my exasperated son closely. "Why doesn't he have hair, Gryffin?"

With a triumphant gleam in his eye, Gryffin announced, "It's Daddy!"

Of course I shared it with my husband.

Strange Happenings

Anyone who knows me is aware that I love a good ghost story. I can also tell a good ghost story; simply ask some of my former students who heard one of my stories and suffered nightmares afterwards (I once told a story five years ago...those same students still come up to me today and ask if it was true). I suppose I inherited that trait from my Dad, who can also spin a good yarn. But I digress.

Usually, I'm not much for television. I find the typical shows vapid and meaningless, and I would much rather read a book. But occasionally I do enjoy relaxing in front of the tube, and invariably the shows that capture my interest involve the paranormal. My favorite show in this genre has to be Ghost Hunters, simply because they take a very skeptical approach to their investigations. I personally believe far to many "paranormal" events are simply misunderstood natural occurrences. So whenever something happens that is out of the ordinary, I don't automatically jump to the conclusion that it is the work of the dearly departed. However, last night something occurred that I cannot explain. Perhaps someone who reads this can help.

I am the first one up in the morning. After I woke up, I headed to the kitchen to start a load of laundry. But when I entered the kitchen, something very strange awaited me.

Every, and I mean every, cabinet door was open. On the floor in front of the bottom cabinets, a pyramid had been formed from various can goods. There were four on the bottom, three on the next level, and so on. They were neatly stacked with the labels all turned in the same direction.
But that's not all.

On the counter tops, three glasses had been placed in perfect alignment, side by side, with the patterns on the glasses also turned the same direction.

My first thought upon viewing this rather remarkable display was that my son, Gryffin, had been playing in the kitchen during the night (he has stacked things before). However, I quickly realized this could not be the case since Gryffin was still sound asleep....and while he could reach the bottom counters, he can not reach the top cabinets where the glasses are kept.

I also briefly suspected the cats, who can open the cabinets. But how would they stack the items so neatly?

My husband swears he did not do it, and I believe him. He simply doesn't have that much imagination (sorry hon, but its true).

So that is my strange happening. Perhaps we will be featured on Ghost Hunters someday in the future!

A Side Order of Narcotics, Please

Yesterday I took Gryffin out to eat at the local Pizza Hut. Apparently the restaurant had recently hired new staff; we had a regular waitress and a young "trainee" just learning the ropes. This young man hesitantly took our order while the waitress watched. I could tell he was nervous; he kept swallowing, fidgeting, and blushing.

Now, Gryffin was in a very good mood and obviously feeling boisterous. The hostess chose to sit us directly in front of the large screen television playing reruns of the Smurfs, and that didn't help matters. Pretty soon, Gryffin was doing his best to dismantle the newly built restaurant; I was doing my best to calm him down without causing a scene (in other words, without spanking him in public and getting my butt hauled to jail).

Our nervous young waiter returned with our order. While he served us, Gryffin decided it would be an excellent idea to climb the curtains....literally. I was pulling him back down, he was screeching "up, Mommy!" and general mayhem ensued (as is usually the case).

The waiter watched all this commotion, wide-eyed. After setting down our meal, he cleared his throat and shyly asked if we needed anything else.

Now, most people I know are familiar with my sarcastic wit, and my response would not shock those folks at all. However, this young man was not someone I knew.

Exasperated with Gryffin, who was once again shimmying up the curtains, I quipped, "Can you bring us some Valium, please?"

The young man swallowed, studied his menu pad, and then glanced at the other waitress. Leaning towards her, he whispered, "I don't see that on the menu. Is it a special?"

Needless to say, we left a nice tip.

Toilet Training Troubles

As you know, we are diligently trying to potty train our son. Progress has been slow. Very slow. Gryffin will sit on the potty now, and he will (usually) tell you when he needs a diaper changed, but he has yet to actually "use" the potty.

Yesterday, he asked if he could "go potty like Daddy?" We figured this meant he wanted to stand. Encouraged by his enthusiasm, we agreed and helped him into the bathroom. We stripped him down, positioned him in front of the potty, and then cheered him on (You can do it! Go pee pee! We're so proud of you!)

Unfortunately, nothing happened. After a couple of minutes, Gryffin turned to us, frowned, then pointed at himself and said "It won't work."

What in the world can you possibly say to that???

I Am Thankful

The Bible states that we should give thanks in all things. Sometimes, of course, this is difficult to do. I've noticed lately that I've been complaining a lot about certain situations in my life. As many of you know, I am studying Conscious Discipline (visit the website at www.lovingguidance.com) and one of the foundational principles of CD involves the Power of Perception. In other words, we choose how to view situations, and our viewpoint then influences our emotional response.

Therefore, I decided to readjust my thinking today. So here goes....

• I am thankful that my salary has been cut by the governor, because it means I still have a job when so many people have lost their jobs.

• I am thankful Gryffin threw a major tantrum this morning, because it means he's a healthy toddler when so many children die in infancy.
  

• I am thankful my husband takes up most of the bed, because it means he's still with me when so many people are divorced or widowed.

• I am thankful my students get on my nerves with their constant drama, because it means I have a wonderful opportunity to practice Conscious Discipline and patience.

• I am thankful that when I stood up to teach today my pants fell down, because it means I've lost weight. (I'm also thankful it occurred while the kids were at computer class!!!)

• I am thankful that putting together my grandmother's birthday party is so stressful, because it means she's still alive when others are now gone.

That's enough optimism for now. Back to being grouchy! :)

Great Last Words

As most of you know, my family has experienced a lot of death in just the last two years. My aunt, grandfather, and grandmother all died recently, as well as both of my cats. Naturally, my mind tends to gravitate towards thoughts of dying these days.

Anyhoo, I've decided that Death actually has a lot of potential for humor. For example, visit the Darwin Awards website and read accounts of people who "bought the farm" in an unintentionally hilarious manner. Yes, some of those examples are just plain tragic and sad....and I certainly don't mean to laugh at the family's pain and suffering. But sometimes you just have to laugh or go insane. While I realize my current mental state may be up for debate, I've decided to return to my sarcastic roots and enjoy the sublimely ridiculous.

In that frame of mind, I started thinking about idiotic ways to die (its surprising how many idiotic ways to die first begin with someone stating, "Get me another beer!"). While I suppose one could argue that Death itself is idiotic, nevertheless, some people exit stage left in a funny way. 1 Such thoughts led me to my next idea: wonder what those people said right before they met with fate? Speculation was rampant. Here are just a few:

Great Last Words:

• Hey, guys! Watch this!
• Hold my beer. I'm gonna try something.
• Do you think its loaded?
• These are the edible kind, right?
• This tastes a little funny.
• Nah.....it's not flammable. I'll prove it.
• Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.
• I wonder if we can deep fry that sucker?
• Poke it with that stick again, Bubba.
• I saw this on TV....
• Isn't that just the cutest little Chihuahua?

I'm sure there are many, many more possible quotations. Send 'em my way if you happen across one!

1For example, take the gentleman who recently purchased a new sports car, only to get said car stuck on a railroad track with an oncoming train. The gentleman, thinking quickly (or not), immediately left his vehicle. Unfortunately, he then ran TOWARDS THE TRAIN shouting "Stop! Stop!" One can only surmise that he was concerned about his new car.....luckily the car received relatively minor damage. The gentleman, however, was not so fortunate. (Yes, its a true story. Look it up).

What a way to start a day

Just so you know. Accidentally using cat shampoo while you are washing your hair is NOT a great way to start your day.

At least I won't have problems with hairballs.

You Know There's A Toddler Somewhere

As the (sometimes) proud mother of a 2.5 year old son, I've discovered some rather interesting insights into the world of parenting.

You know you've got a toddler in your house when.....

• You find the cat shampooed with apple sauce.
  

• You have to dig interesting objects out of the VCR or DVD.

• You know EXACTLY what will flush and what won't.

• You have Poison Control on speed dial, and when you call in they recognize your name (yes, I speak from experience).

• When your child attaches to a stuffed toy, you buy back-ups.

• Bedtime is a traumatic event.

• You ask adults if they need to "go potty."

• You can sing the words to "Dora the Explorer" from memory.

• You consider an emergency run to Wal-Mart just to buy a pacifier.

• You no longer eat out because you fear the wrath of the other diners.

• Babysitters shun your neighborhood.

• You've ever been so tired after a sleepless night that you used cat shampoo on your hair.
  

Teachable Moment

Once a teacher, always a teacher. Therefore, I am passing along some life lessons I learned just this morning.

1. It is not a good idea to try and wash your face & brush your teeth when you are half-asleep. And for the record, Crest toothpaste is very difficult to wash off once you've rubbed it in really well (but my it sure does tingle!) and Neutrogena face-wash tastes awful.

2. Although its always commendable to try and get a head-start on the household chores, you might want to turn the kitchen light on when putting in a load of laundry. That way, if you've made the mistake of storing the laundry detergent (in a bright yellow box) right next to the cat litter (in a bright yellow box) you have less chance of mixing the two up.

3. Cats prefer to eat cat food, not Corn Flakes. And all the milk and sugar in the world will not improve the taste of Purina Cat Chow.

4. Never play vigourously with an infant or toddler after you've gotten dressed for the day. They have a tendency to spew like Old Faithful.

5. When you have lots of similar shoes, always check to make sure they match before you leave. Really take a good look at navy and black. In dim light, they look VERY similar.

6. Check your shirt, too. If you can see the tag, its inside-out.

All this learned just today. I can't wait to see what happens when the kids get here.

New Year's Resolutions

'Tis 2009 and time to write my annual New Year's Resolutions. It's rather pointless, really; I always abandon my first resolution sometime around January 3 and the rest fall by the wayside before the end of February. Nevertheless, in the spirit of self-improvement, I will try again.

I, Traci Conkle, do hereby resolve:

Refrain from special hand salutes when I finally pass that car doing 25 in a 70 mph zone.

Remind myself that cleanliness is simply not part of the male genome.

Not to lose my temper when some idiot takes a buggy full of merchandise through the "Ten Items or Less Express Lane."

To just smile and not think disparaging thoughts the next time someone tells me "Oh, what fun you must have as a teacher! It's like playing all day long!"

To not throw blunt objects at the television whenever some big company gets a bail out after giving their top execs special privileges.

To make sexism an equal opportunity employer. I'll open my own restaurant and employ scantily clad hunky men to be the waiters. I'll call the restaurant "Peckers."

Do my part to encourage the local economy by consuming chocolate based items.

Try my best to keep a positive outlook at school, even when the stupid copier breaks down (for the umpteenth time) right before a major test that I need multiple copies of.

Love, hug, kiss, and play with Gryffin more. Actually, come to think of it, that's not a necessary resolution because I do that anyway. But it looks good on paper.

Keep the spirit of Christmas in my heart all year long by letting my husband buy me gifts whenever the mood strikes me.

Smile politely whenever someone tells me "Oh, your son looks just like your husband! Aren't you glad?"

There. I've finished with this year's resolutions. Wonder which one will fall first?