Life Lesson #274

There is a saying that hindsight is 20/20. After this weekend, I know that's true. Consider the following:

Saturday afternoon. I need to buy a couple of things at Wal-Mart. I had Gryffin with me. In hindsight, I should have gotten the buggy and strapped his little mobile self in the seat. However, I chose to carry the baby and put my items in one of the hand-held baskets. That's mistake #1.

While in the "sale" section, I ran into an acquaintance and struck up a brief conversation. The conversation wasn't the mistake. But putting Gryffin down because he was getting heavy, that was mistake #2.

While talking to my friend, I kept a sharp eye on Gryffin to make sure he stayed near me. He did, but occupied himself by examining things on the shelves. In particular, he seemed fascinated with a pair of plastic soccer balls that come apart and resnapped together (like an Easter egg). He became very excited about his find and apparently wanted to share it with me. He began to wave the balls around, screeching for my attention. I tried to ignore him and continue my conversation. That was mistake #3.

There is only so much noise and distraction a person can tolerate before they lose it. I reached my limit about the sixth time he slammed me in the thigh with the balls. Agitated and embarrassed, I turned to Gryffin and said the first thing that popped into my head. That was mistake #4.

Mistake # 5: I said it loudly. My words caught the attention of every person in the near vicinity.

That's right. Half of Wal-Mart's customers heard me shout: "Yes, Gryffin! I see your balls!"

Just so you know, there is absolutely no way to exit Wal-Mart after saying something like that at the top of your lungs and not draw attention to yourself. I'm surprised Social Services wasn't waiting at my car to have a little chat. So the moral of the story is: Leave the baby with your husband when you go shopping!